It's kind of hard to wear high heels
or slip on banana peels
How does she get in and out of tubs?
I hope she don't get mad
I hope she thinks this song is good, not bad
'Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's nubs

No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows
No phaligees, no knobby knees to knock
She don't need knuckles or hands
To go see Punk Rock bands
She's always in the stands, she's nubs

She can't pick up the phone
She can't get dressed alone
She's got no funny bones, she's nubs
No shoes for feet
But we sure do think she's neat
She's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs

I asked her if she wanted a drink
I asked her if she liked Toronto
I asked her to go out to the bar
But all she said was no thanks, no, and no

It's time for us to leave
So I grabbed and shook her sleave
I told her I'd see her at the next club
She got into a pack
Some guy put her on his back
She said good-bye and kinda waved her stub

She's got beautiful eyes
and breast regular size
But without calves and thighs, she's nubs
It's hard to give good head
Or get tied to a bed
When all you got's a body and head, she's nubs

She's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs
She's nubs, she's nubs
She's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs
She's nubs

Oh, she may not walk the walk
and she may not like to talk
But boy she sure knows how to rock
She's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs